


Turnabout: It's Fair Play

by waketosleep



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Embarrassment, Gen, Humor, Injury, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-05
Updated: 2010-11-05
Packaged: 2017-10-13 01:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/131460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waketosleep/pseuds/waketosleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve gets crutches and Danny gets sweet revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turnabout: It's Fair Play

Danny was finishing off his morning coffee when the Jaws theme started playing. He dug his phone out of his pocket. "Hey, asshole."

" _Hey, Danno,_ " said Steve. " _Look, I'm calling in sick today_."

"What?"

Steve sighed into the phone. " _I just wanted to let you know I won't be into work today. Call me if it's an emergency, but otherwise just don't burn the place down, okay?_ "

"Okay, boss," said Danny, dragging the spoon through the remnants of his Cheerios. "What's the matter, anyway? Plague? Playing hooky?"

" _I have to go to the doctor_."

Danny straightened up. "Is it serious?"

" _I think I'll pull through. Just, look. I'll see you later_."

"All right." Danny listened to the dial tone for a second before hanging up.

***

Steve didn't miss work the next day. He hobbled in the door bright and early. He hobbled in on _crutches_.

"What in the almighty fuck," said Danny upon seeing him.

Steve hung his head in exasperation, leaning heavily on the crutches. All of his weight was on his left leg.

Kono poked her head out of her office and let out a low whistle. "Someone stuff you in the barrel, boss?"

"Something like that," said Steve.

"Was that English?" Danny asked.

"She asked me if I wiped out surfing." Steve hobbled toward his office in a determined way, trying to get away from Danny. But Danny had two good legs (for a whole week, now).

"You blew out your knee, didn't you?" he demanded.

Steve's silence was damning.

"Ha!" Danny pointed in triumph. "I knew it! Too much diving out of burning buildings saving babies and driving cars off cliff faces will break even _you_ eventually!"

"Ugh," said Steve, and hobbled into his office far enough to slam the door in Danny's face.

***

Steve had caught the flu once, after running around with Chin after some smugglers in a rainstorm for an entire night; the following week had been true torture for everyone else in Five-0 and had seen a lot of Kono stalking around and darkly muttering about 'mancolds'.

Steve disabled was far, far worse.

"We need to go question this suspect," he said at the end of a briefing, grabbing at his crutches where they leaned on the table.

Danny stood up. "Okay, Chin and I have that covered."

Steve stared at him for a second and then wilted. "I guess I'll just... stay here."

"I've got lots of filing you can catch up on," said Chin reassuringly.

"How long you on the crutches for, boss?" asked Kono in what might have been a sympathetic way, except that Danny knew she was wondering how long they had to put up with the pouting, sighing and whining.

"Five more weeks," said Steve to the ceiling.

Danny snorted. "Maybe after that I can lend you my cane, since I'm not using it anymore."

Steve gave him the double bird, which was really uncalled for in the face of his generous offer. Danny's cane had flames on it, courtesy of Grace (and Rachel) for Father's Day.

***

It took two weeks (and not for lack of effort) before Danny finally found out what Steve had done to himself to fuck up his knee so spectacularly. And he didn't even find out from Steve.

"God, your fucking crutches," bitched Mary Ann on her way through the living room, after nearly tripping over them. Steve, in the recliner, ignored her in favour of the game. Danny smirked a little from his spot on the couch.

"I will be so fucking glad when you get off these things and stop being an invalid. We're going to have to make the house all handicapable and shit. Hey," she said excitedly, pointing at Steve who was still ignoring her like a professional, "we should definitely put up rails in your shower. Those'll come in handy even when you're not a cripple anymore. Wouldn't want any more _accidents_."

Steve turned a sudden death glare on her and that was when Danny knew something was up. "Accidents?" he asked innocently.

Mary Ann turned on him in glee. "Oh my god. He didn't fucking tell you, did he?"

"I will beat you with a crutch if you say another word," hissed Steve.

"I'll run away, Gimpy," she said, stepping out of range. "Anyway. This fucking loser slipped and fell in the shower."

Danny almost dropped his beer on the floor. " _That's_ how you blew out your knee? Jesus Christ, McGarrett!" He started laughing on the last few words.

"I was downstairs and heard him fall! Thought he fucking killed himself! I had to go pick him up off the floor and drive him to the ER." She turned around to look at Steve, who was furious. "And this is the thanks I get, for being such a good sister."

Danny slid off of the couch and onto the floor, clutching his stomach and gasping for air.

***

Three weeks later, Steve had graduated to the cane (probably against doctor's advice, but whatever made the whining and sad faces stop), and he and Danny were making their way down the boardwalk to go talk to one of Chin's informants. Danny stopped at a stand to buy a coffee and a surfer dude walked up to them and nodded at Steve. "Tough break, brah."

Steve shifted around a bit theatrically. "Yeah."

"Where'd you eat it?"

Danny turned around with his coffee in hand just as Steve opened his mouth to answer.

"Oh, that injury?" he asked brightly, feeling like it was Christmas as he pointed at Steve's knee. "Oh, he didn't do that _surfing_."

 

THE END


End file.
